Sunday, March 05, 2006

A Joyful day

Yesterday we celebrated my mother in laws birthday. Well she isn't exactly yet but she is to me. S and I are not married but as good as. We have been together for nearly five years and have been through so much together. He has been my rock through the most toughest times in my life so far.
I will talk about that later but for now I need to write what is in my head.
Just to be around family is great. When I was on the tube on the 7th July I thought I was going to die and never see my family or friends again. But to be around them feels great. People have often said to me "you can choose your friends but you cannot choose your family". I agree to a point but when you have been through something that you feel you might never see them again you appreciate them more. I love my family and freinds. I don't know what they would have done if I had died on that day. I often think what if?. I think alot of people have but that is one of the toughest things I have to deal with.
Being around family yesterday just reminded me how lucky I am to be alive, well and enjoy all the moments I spend with them. S brother's (two) have children. N has a boy and S has a girl. They are both 1 years old and just seeing them was a joy. I can now spend my life watching them grow into beautiful children and that is something I will cherish forever. I have nephews and nieces to. The thought of not seeing them again was tough. I know it is a thought but it doe's cross your mind. I have already lost a sister three years ago and when I was down in the tunnel I just thought "oh no not me too". That was tough and still is tough on my family but for me to go as well that would be a pain I would not want anyone to go through.
I am just glad to be alive and healthy. It will always be with me what if? That is the question I still ask myself but one I am glad I can answer.

2 Comments:

Blogger Holly Finch said...

lovely post hamish....
so glad you are starting being able to enjoy yourself...i am sure the 'what if's' will fade in time for all of us....but some of it will always reamain and just make us appreciate everything even more......family is a powerful thing...& kids are great therapy....my nephew & niece have seen me through some dark times....just being with them puts everything into perspective
see you next week...looking forward to it xx

9:43 AM  
Blogger mewmewmew said...

but some of it will always reamain and just make us appreciate everything even more......family is a powerful thing...& kids are great therapy....my nephew & niece have seen me through some dark times....just being with them puts everything into perspective

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9:54 AM  

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